Sunday, April 25, 2004

Dept. of Getting-on-with-your-life

Breaking up? Write a letter.

Have you been dumped? Do you want to make her sad? Why not be inspired by this Break-Up Letter. It's cruel and really funny, and of course probably a fake. Nevertheless it could be a template for your next letter to your ex-fiancée who crushed your heart, blew your mind and walked out with the stuffed moose-head.

Girls just can turn it around, but think of his brother - he probably will break the innocent guy's neck and burn your clothes you haven't had time to get from your old apartment.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Dept. of Marketing-The-Kiddo

Eight year old on sale at eBay

A big potatojunkie is the guy who put an ad for an auction on his and his wife's daughter at eBay. The social welfare, the police and the eBay-security-taskforce did slam the German couple who did use the following way to make a good fare of it: You can play with her, eat her at a barbecue or sell her to gypsies. She is a real working toy.

Now they're facing prosecution on trafficking - well, if there is, there is really a stupid way of selling kids: the bid started (as usual) at 1 euro and when the eBay pulled the auction the bids where near 25 euro . Wow. People really took this serious...

Friday, April 23, 2004

Dept. of Hey-Ho-Viral-Marketing

Being an ad-head

The strangest way in marketing is foreheADS. If it's true it is somewhat a brilliant idea filled with the most stupid marketideas of all time. The idea is having students and others to have a ad on their foreheads. The rules is "Students must display the ads for a minimum of three hours a day in highly visible locations such as the student bar, local pubs and high street shopping areas. . This gives the living ad-head $90 for a week. But they have to send in photos... or this might be a stunt of the Cunning Stunts, since they're working with non-traditional virals and guerilla-campaigns.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Dept. of Meaningless-Stuff

Compliment in a surreal way

Ay. Did the compliments dry out? Do you don't know what to say the fifth hundred time you meet the girl of your former dreams? Go to The Surrealist Compliment Generator and get some new ammo.

Man, this is the guy's best friend: "Your Hands do the work of 10,000 highly trained lesbian jumping beans." or "Certainly your trout are more proseperous to vaccuum than the flying coachmen of Czar Nicholai!" or why not You so truly know your inner plankton, it is a revelation not unlike discovering an impacted toll booth upon the plains of Patagonia. .

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Dept. of Body-Counting

John "Rambo" Kerry

The presidential candidate Kerry is a though guy. In his service record from his month in 'Nam he is credited unofficially on killing about twenty 'goks'. The democratic election machine has dug up the service record of a 25-year-old junior grade lieutenant who seem to have done a good job killing of the nation's enemies.

At this time his opponent mostly killed bottles in his grande barfly-era.

The documents is released after the republican party's demanding of full disclosure. Talk about a strategic failure...

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Dept. of New-Virtual-Love-Service

Get your girlfriend online! Only $45.

This site must be the one least talked about when coming to members and users of it. At Imaginary Girlfriends you can have an imaginary girlfriend. It´s "real" girls who pretends to be your girlfriend with letters, phone messages and so on. Just to have the feeling of not being a loser I suppose.

How to define this service? A virtual childproof version of escort? The service is including "every week you will receive a one to three page handwritten letter, personally addressed to you, on pretty stationary sprayed with perfume. Most girlfriends also send pictures and/or other special gifts (ie: lingerie). " and this would then make friends and family drop the subject of you never getting laid. I can imagine: "Hey Mom, look what I got from XX in the mail today! A couple of g-strings!"...

It costs. But $45 for two months - that's pretty cheap compared what real dating would cost. And you might get some g-strings too...

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Dept. of Masturbation-Techniques

Ejaculate to a healthier life

The news that the more a man is ejaculate the less chance is that he will suffer from prostate cancer might be the Male-Newsbit-Of-The-Year (even kicking The Jackson Nipple Incident). Now a guy can say to his wife: Darling, let's prevent cancer! Let´s roll in the hay. Or when the spouse is complaining with that traditional evening headache a guy can start complaining that his prostate feels somewhat untrained and he can ask her: "Do you really want me to catch cancer?"

The only wish the males have is that they scientists also find some issue in women health that sex can prevent - then everyone will f*ck like rabbits!

Friday, April 09, 2004

Dept. of Virtual-Justice-For-All

Court ruled in favor of the victim of theft

The court got his belongings back. That's maybe no news (or in some instances it is where the law enforcement seem interested in every thing but helping people) but this time it is virtual belongings in a RPG-game on the net.

Li Hongchen hade spent more than thousand dollars on making a big cache of virtual money and stuff in the game Red Moon when his account was hacked and destroyed. Tough luck said the gaming company but Li did sue them to get the "things" back. And he won.

That's all nice. But one can wonder if the court shouldn't ordered Li to get a life...

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Dept. of Communication-Skills

Let's talk about toiletpaper

This logfile shows that people don't have too little time on their hands. Not when chatting on the IRC. The people are discussing toiletpaper, the pros and cons of the more expensive stuff and so on. Man, this really is the highly intelligent way to communicate one´s views on things.

But hey, didn't I said that everything is present on the net. And I meant E V E R Y T H I N G! Of course there is a Virtual Museum of Toiletpaper. Hold your horses: there's TWO! (The Virtual Toilet Paper Museum)

And hey: there was a physical museum of toilet tissues in Madison, Wisconsin. For the moment closed-down: someone forgot to fill up the rolls...

And digging deeper (or maybe diving when coming to the subject of loos) one find the most amazing collections and histories of people collecting toilet-paper.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Dept. of Animals-That-We-Love

A colorful hedgehog

The International Hedgehog Association is telling us important knowledge of the little creature with sharp pins. There's 92 different color-settings of the population of hedgehogs. That's interesting. What interest me the most is: who the hell have counted?! I mean: bird-watching okey, the birds do fly. But hedgehog-watching mean looking at a pile of autumnleaves in hours waiting for the little one to come out.

And hold your horses: there's more from where that come from. At the The International Hedgehog Registry you can register "your hedgehogs". And the sites mission statements is:

1. To preserve and improve the quality of the species, and to keep track of the progress of our efforts.

2 To improve knowledge of inherited traits, toward the goal of eliminating those characteristics that have a negative impact on hedgehog longevity and health and increasing those traits that enhance the species.

3 To track the demographics and distribution of pet hedgehogs.

4 To connect hedgehog owners and breeders with one another, to the enhancement of the hedgehog community.

"Pet hedgehogs"? Why's that? There's not that kind of cuddly little fur-ball that one should want to have in the bed. People are strange...

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Dept. of High-Standards-Law

No chewing without prescription

The well-known and maybe one of the world's most stupidest laws (and stickiest): the Singaporian ban of chewing gum is now under reconstruction and the access expands even though it's under tight rules. Only gum for therapeutical use is for sale. Pfizer is trying to get to put the Nicorette-gum on sale and Wrigley´s have got their sugar-free chewinggum to be OTC-like in pharmacies and drug-stores.

The gum ban is from 1992 when people was using gum to keep the subwaydoors open. And since Singapore is a non-democratical Asian tiger the ban have been in action and though the sale of gum is coming to the counters the legislative heads are threatening with stiffer fines for people littering the town with gum.

Myself I wonder if the Singapore lawmakers do censor the Star Wars-movies too. I mean: Chewbacca is there...

Saturday, April 03, 2004

Dept. of Mobile-Movie-Makers

Home of the bold and beautiful

"I was very shocked and surprised," says Holden, 41, of Olive Branch, Miss., who still has a difficult time talking about what she saw about 18 months ago. "I just could not believe that people had the audacity to do that."

Mrs Holdens shocking experience was to see how a porno-flic was playing at the portable DVD in the sports-vehicle beside her when sitting in her Humwee. And it´s surely a big thing: dirty driving where owners of DVD in a car is showing their taste in movies for their co-trafficants. There is a lot of upset judgements on this behavior; both since there is som state-laws forbidding drivers to watch movies during the trip but also pure moral: "I think it's the responsibility of the driver of the vehicle whether they're viewing this or not," says Councilwoman Carolyn Sims. "You should have the right to ride down the streets and not be subjected to this pornography."

Friday, April 02, 2004

Dept. of Picture-The-Leader

Scribbles of The Man

A boring meeting. Your boss is a dumbass. You make a sketch of him in a precarious situation involving his blonde secretary, the genitor and a pig. He asks everyone to pass in the sketchbooks since the meeting was about secret stuff. You get worried about your work but do as The Man tells you.

A couple of days later your boss is knocking at your office's door and ask you to turn in your key-card and leave the premises at once. You don't understand why but logging into you understand. Someone have sent your sketch of the boss ramming both the genitor and the pig...