Dept. of New Bizniz On Bodywork

Selling your soul on Ebay

A Dutchman is offering a 'soul in good condition with no serious damage' on eBay tells Ananova.

The initial price is set at £6. But hey, who haven't want a good soul instead of your own, sinful and black.

Another guy, a web-designer from Iowa, is selling his soul on Ebay and he is saying that his soul is sited in a glass jar. If he get rid of his soul the next thing he is thinking of selling is his morals.

Somehow that won't be a bargain I say...

Dept. of Natural-Wrestling

Reporter wrestles Blitzen

To be a reporter can be difficult. Ask Meghan Stapleton who was knocked to the ground by one of the reindeers at the sleight of Santa, located at the North Pole. Watch the pics or the video at NBC13.com.

But if Stapleton had did her research she had understood better than to try to hug "Blitzen". I don't think that she will be member of the Reindeer Liberation Front whose mission is to free Rudolph and his friends.

Dept. of Technology-Of-Making-Out

Get her ready and willing

This is surely a technology-wonder: Slightest Touch is not for give the woman orgasms but to make all that which we use to call "fore-play" fast and safe.

The perfect X-mas-gift for the husband who won't miss the Saturday game but have a wife that want to do the weekly 'fandango'.

As one of the men who let his woman test it says: "It warms the oven. It brings women to the one-yard line.... It's a wonderful product. I think the world of it." as Wired News tells in the flick about The Orgasmatron (sounds like something from a bad B-movie).

Dept. of SingSing

Bad choice of song

A lawyer was reported singing 'I shot the sheriff' when leaving court after a trial on a cop-killing. His client was the one accused for the shooting.

The most funny part in this is one of the cops statement: "Where was that dignity and moderation in that terrible performance of the Bob Marley song?"...

I mean - hey, if the lawyer can't sing he could be rather lucky that the guy didn't try to sing 'Copkiller'.

Dept. of Spooky-Castles

A ghost on film

A rather peculiar pic have been put on almost every paper. It's a pic from the guards of Hampton Court Palace, a Henry III medieval castle which is well-known of it's ghosts and of course - it has been told to be haunted of a plethora of lost souls.

The people of the castle not ruling out a hoax but they can't explain the picture.

The strange thing of it all is that the ghost i closing a fire escape. And fire-doors wasn't to wellknown in the Medieval England but from what the guards tell they can't find an earthly explanation. Read the story in The Sun or in The Mirror.

Dept. of Funny Menus

Eating Out?

Ananova tells about the man swallowed 200 live worms in an attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records. Earthworms, which was on the menu, is about four inches long each and of course filled with proteines and vitamines. And C Manoharan, as the hungry Indian is called, did it in twenty seconds.

Wonder if he chewed well.

Dept. of Beauty-And-No-Hair

Hot on foam

Do you get your boost on looking at men shaving? Do you get horny by the smell of foaming-cream? At
shave you can get your otium in all that and more.

Me myself just let the beard grow.

Dept. of Driving-Careful

Blondes are better drivers

Sometimes one can wonder if the scientists and lovers of statistical analysis is really sane. They say that 'Blondes are best drivers' . Oh wee...

The story is that blonde chics is less involved in traffic incidents than brunettes. It wouldn't be the possibility that blondes is less able to have their license?

This joke is fun: A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 360,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde, "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the mileage counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."


The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.


About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"


"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

Dept. of Names-That-You-Remember

Bubba Bubba Bubba

Ananova is telling the story of Raymond Allen Gray Jr who changed his name to the more unusual Bubba Bubba Bubba. This Illinois-guy probably didn't think of the strange name his son will have: Bubba Bubba Bubba Jr.

Yes. It's the evil influence of The Kermit Show that now are making people crazy. It's the psychotic influences on the distressed Generation X:ers whose only cultural waypoints is Sesame Street, The Muppet Show and such strange TV-flicks.

Dept. of Strange-Sponsorships

Paying for silence

"Prakashi, a widow who lives in New Delhi, has been staging a sit-in outside the city police commissioner's office after three failed attempts to hand over the money. The Hindustan Times says officers refused to accept the polythene bag full of money because they were worried about being accused of wrongdoing. A police inspector later accompanied the woman and handed the money over to her relatives. Prakashi, 75, says she wanted to thank the police for keeping her neighbours from playing loud music late into the night." Ananova is tellinge the whole story.

Dept. of Alcohol-And-Driving

Driving with a lot of booze

Hey ho... this guy was taken by the police with .69 in bloodalcohol. An american record it seem to be since a russian lad was taken in with more than .70. The police report is talking about "a strong odour of alcohol beverage" when put the head inside the car in which the american booze-lover sat.

Willard Ashley III is the new recordmaker. I wonder what the Ashley First and Second did die from: liverfailure?

Dept. of Forgotten-Pics

He forgot to burn this pic

Guess who this is.

No - not that geek from your second grade. You know, the lad who you used to beat up to be able to hang out with the big guys.

No - this guy is nowadays called 'Prince of Darkness' and last time I saw him on the telly he was almost brutally forced to kiss the Real Prince: Ozzy.

Yeay... it's Marilyn Manson. This is truly the proof that the nerds rule the world.

Dept. of Lies And Videotapes

Remember to turn off the camera

Another one of the brats have forgotten that every person is the other person's wolf (homo homini lupus a proverb from Plautus in ancient Rome). Paris Hilton, great-granddaughter of the founder of the Hilton Hotel is trying to get rid of the videocopies where she is having sex with her boyfriend. And as anyone else with money and something cranky to cope she hired a PR consultant: "I hear that PR consultant Dan Klores recently bagged $50,000 from the Hilton family, mainly for advising their controversial daughter Paris Hilton, 'Whenever you see a camera, cry.' " as the outspoken columnist Michael Musto of
The Village Voice

Instead of that tip I can give her one just for free: Don't use videocam to spice up your sexlife if you're a celeb (or planning to be).

Or as the New York Times columnist John Leland jokes that the only thing that could really "damage her reputation as a vapid, self-involved rich girl" would be a videotape showing her doing something worthwhile with her life, such as "developing mathematical models for a low-cost irrigation system to be used in the developing world."

Dept. of Hair-Cutting

Imagine the smell

Ananova is telling about an Indian barber who use candles to trim his customers hair. His explanation is that using fire on hair is an old tradition and that "Scissors create a mess with hair all over, this style avoids that as the hair simply burns.".

Me myself just can say that the smell of burnt hair would make me choose some other barbershop.

Dept. of Plastic-Surgeons-United

As ugly as £7 Grand

The winner of China's Miss Ugly competition has beaten to 50 rivals to clinch £7,000 worth of cosmetic surgery.

Zhang Di, 26, won on the basis that her appearance would most benefit from plastic surgery.

The people on the pic have nothing to do with the article but is as ugly as anyone could be. The really annoying thing is that there's no pics on the winner...

Dept. of Manhood

Are you handsome - then your sperm is good

Brother. If you look like a car-crash you truly is in a bad state of being chosen being father to the beautiful girls children.

"The researchers showed that men with the healthiest, fastest sperm were rated as the most facially attractive by women. The characteristics of a person's face have long been regarded as an indicator of health. " New Scientist though give the ugly guys some hope: women tend to also seek economical stability and such things. That´s probably the explanation that guys like Bill Gates, George Bush and Bjorn Borg have wifes.

Dept. of The Inner Truth

Let it all out

"i put hairpins on my nipples when i masturbate". No, it's not a confession of my own sick ways of touching myself - it's a confession from grouphug.us. I said it before and I'm never given an opp to take it back: there's so many strange ideas on the Net.

"the idea is for anyone to anonymously confess to anything. it actually feels kind of good to know that someone will read it." the site is telling us.

Thinking of it seriously it seems to be the post-modern confession-booth, without God and without the consequences. Just confession and in a way that gives you (anonymously) fifteen minutes of fame.

Dept. of Sandwichboys

Prisonfood tastes like sh*t

One wonder what the larceny-convicted Saraf had done to Anthony Paduano. This untastful story is served chilled from The Smoking Gun.

Paduano, a thief of habit did spiced his fellow-inmate Saraf's sandwich which ... yes - something that you don´t want to have for dinner. Antoher question is how Paduano thought getting away with it?

Dept. of RIAA

Send them back

Are you a filesharer, a thief of copyrighted material? Are you one of the people who make the musicians to leave their homes and not being able to feed their kids?

Of course, you are. Do RIAA a favor - when you are finished with the mp3's:
Send Them Back. They aren't used-out you know.

Dept. of Emancipation

Master and servant

This is so damn stupid that I have just to cite it:

"The County of Los Angeles actively promotes and is committed to ensure a work environment that is free from any discriminatory influence be it actual or perceived. As such, it is the County's expectation that our manufacturers, suppliers and contractors make a concentrated effort to ensure that any equipment, supplies or services that are provided to County departments do not possess or portray an image that may be construed as offensive or defamatory in nature.

One such recent example included the manufacturer's labeling of equipment where the words ''Master/Slave'' appeared to identify the primary and secondary sources. Based on the cultural diversity and sensitivity of Los Angeles County, this is not an acceptable identification label.

We would request that each manufacturer, supplier and contractor review, identify and remove/change any identification or labeling of equipment or components thereof that could be interpreted as discriminatory or offensive in nature before such equipment is sold or otherwise provided to any County department. Thank you in advance for your cooperation and assistance."

The use of "master/slave" is when putting hard drives into a computer. A nice try of emancipation of hard drives...

Dept. of Technology-Wonders

R.Kelly is morphing

It´s not only the freak of pop-culture Michael Jackson (well, the first freak - and when Marilyn Manson is setting a show) that is charged for child abuse. R.Kelly is charged for possessing child porn and to have filmed himself in sexual acts with a minor.

The most creative in all this is his answers on the allegations
: his defense has been that there is a conspiracy from former managers and being proven to be the one on the tapes his defense is that someone have tampered with the pictures and morphed him into the video.

First to take the stand i George Lucas.

Dept. of Tour-Of-Life

Big, bald and ugly

At Roadie.net one can find the life and thought (well...) of the stars own slaves and the well-bearded silent men of showbiz.

Roadies, the guys that go with the trucks when the artists is flying jets. Mythic and often either geekish or musicians lacking success. Roadies is the highway-restaurants favouritecustomers since the are the same as the truckers but take some of the showbiz-glamour to the far-away café.

And for the amateur-groupies the roadie is the last chance of some glam-life.

Dept. of Word-Of-Mouth

The power of words

"The power and correct rules of good speech consist more in usage than in anything else and it is always wrong to employ words which are not current."

Baldesar Castiglione Italian writer and diplomat —The Book of the Courtier, 1528

Do you sometimes have difficulty to find the words that make your thing go through? Then you maybe should buy some Power Words. Or use that amount of money on a Thesaurus and some real study-time.

Dept. of Pinning-The-Game

No tilting on this

A big thing on 2.6 tons, a length of 11 metres and a height of 2.6 metres. That´s truly a stylish pinball-game... and booked for the Guinnes Book of Records of course - as the biggest pin-ballgame in the world.

"The intent of the game is to provide an ironic and entertaining demonstration of how the advent of tourism shaped the landscape and economic habbits in the small Italian province of Southtyrol."

And it's probably impossible to tilt.

Dept. of It-Wasn't-Me

Wacko Jacko likes little boys

It's somewhat kicking on someone already at the ground but the site that Michael Jackson have put up to fight the charges of indecent conduct and sexual assualt is pathetic.

And in the always continuing struggle of being the most strange person alive mr Jackson truly is in the finals. Welcome to the freak-show of someone that would have been under surveillance of the psychiatric care instead of the media-eye.

Dept. of A-lot-want-moreists

Take the money and run

A trip around the world of the former half billion-CEO Wade Dokken. He was one of the bosses of the Swedish insurance-company Skandia in their America-based sister-company. Now he and his family is on a trip, after he got half a billion Swedish crowns (about quarter of a billion in dollar) when he signed out. And they are putting up a tripdiary at the Net.

That might be nothing to write home about if the fact wasn't that the company Skandia have done bad bizniz and the leaders have given themselves apartments, fat bonuses and lost big bucks at the worlds stock-markets - money that ordinary people have saved in their pension-funds to get a swell time when ending the working cycle.

Dept. of One Size Fits All

A thing for the thong

The people at The Smoking Gun have always some strange thing to dig up. This time it's the young lad Anthony Scholfield who have been stolen thongs from the home of eight girls. His explanation was

"just something I did for the fun of it. Call it a panty raid if you will. No harm intended just a little practical joke."

The problem is that the cops found 854 thongs in his apartment.

Dept. of Campaign For A Dollar

Kick Bush into the bush

Some guys have started a campaign on the Net where they say that there is a possibility for non-americans to join in the struggle to kick Bush out of the West Wing. Anyone can join the Democracy Aid. I can't help being slight suspicious reading stuff like this:

One dollar per EU-citizen would suffice to raise more money than the entire Bush campaign budget for the elections in 2000. Compare this price to the cost of having Bush in the White House.

Dept. of Stupid Users

Employees the big danger

Dumb, dumber, computeruser is what comes in mind when reading this:

"Employee blunders and hardware and software failures are more of a worry for IT directors than the much-hyped threat of terrorism when it comes to disaster recovery planning" (silicon.com)

Anyone who have worked in an office-space where there have been people working with less or none computerknowledge can sign that quotation.

The "a computer should just work" is common from people that think that a computer just is a slightly more complicated toaster (well - some is) but hey, tell me a technical apparatus that doesn't run sour from time to time?

People are stupid - that's no-news.

Dept. of Soul-Search

Sell your soul

A fantastic opportunity says this website and continues

"Soul extraction is painless and worry-free. You need never remember your previous soulful existence, and look forward to a "life" of money and security."

A fun thing that would be really scary if it was true. Sell your soul to make up your finances.

Me personnally I have already sold my soul - to rock'n'roll.

"I sold my soul to pay for my dinner, my stomach grew fatter but my heart grew thinner." (The The, Twilight Of A Champion)

Dept. of Human Transportation

Can't afford a Segway?

Put your stash in a Megway. Enviromentally clean, runs on water and are suitable for a lot more than a Segway. And not to expensive to change to a newer model.

It even is possible to use it indoor and in stairs. This is the future of transportation.

Dept. of Shots To Be Forgotten

Bad hair day

There's truly a rule that if you are a celeb and doing something illegal you should do your hair before. Otherwise you might be put here and that's no fun...

A fun history is that of Danisy Mendez - caught in bad driving and did ask the cops to go home and change from the bathing suit she was wearing when caught.

And the rule truly is in for Yasmine Bleeth - the pic is not one of the ones she want to put in her book.

Look at them all at:

MugShots.com - Mugshots.com - Biggest Directory of Mugshots on the internet

Dept. of Weight-Watching

Meaty Zeta-Jones

Catherine Zeta-Jones is slashing a lawsuit against papers that claims she is using the Atkins-method of diet. She might have got her craving for the bar when winning the lawsuit against the publishing of her weddingpictures.

But what seems like a divas silly ideas have more serious indications: Zeta-Jones and her management is worried about that this claims of using a method that is discussed by dietists would be endanger the possibilities for the actress to land some modelcontracts in the beauty and health-bizniz.

Dept. of Good Sound

Sound of silence...not

I have a friend that claim to be able to hear the difference when listening to his expensive speakers when using different cables. And he's not alone.

The talk of computer-geeks have made the audiophile-nerds some quiet time to listening to their deeply tested amplitude-tones in their speakers worth as a small car. And of course there's a paper for them:

Audiophilia - The Online Journal for the Serious Audiophile

Dept. of Lock-Stock-Smoking-Servers

Safety at airports

Ooops... I did it again. Shit. The airport was of course on their toes looking for terrorists but they did forgot to look the door to the server room... read about the The brazen airport computer theft.

Hey, do you really think that it's possible for the aussies to guard both the doors and the strange people coming with the aircrafts from say Vietnam, Singapore and Sweden?

Dept. of Risky Bizniz

Science more than bookworming

The Worst Jobs in Science is a pretty funny site where they are putting up the worst work available in the science-world. It's the job as flatus odor judge or as barnyard masturbator or prison rape researcher.

So it's not only the danger of being short-sighted of all reading but there is a lot of other dangers in the call of science.

Dept. of Offering-Services

Making the collection easier

Making offerings with your Amex. A Louisiana-based Roman Catholic Church is testing a system of e-tithing. And of course (we're talking the land of dreams, home of the brave) you get a receipt being possible to hold of the IRS and in keeping the Devil in the doorway the receipt also includes a prayer.

A prayer that would be suitable would be: "Keep me from being greedy". But that would surely be a badly drawn selling-point.

Dept. of Bad-Hair-Day

Hangover hits hard on the chics

Do you often get bad hangovers? Then you either are a woman or have a history of alcohol-related problems in your family. Yeay. The study that proof this findings is of course American and say that the fact that women getting worse headache the day-after is since they have a lighter bodymass and therefore less water in the body.

That's strange. At my place I always have the worse hangovers and they truly get worse since it's a constant "don't drink too much"-nagging.

Dept. of Deep-Water-Money-Spending

Your personal yellow submarine

It's pretty obvious that the first serialmade submarine is coloured in yellow.

CNN.com is running (for a while) the story of Gemini which is said to be the world's first two man recreational submarine. Isn't it your big dream of being trapped in a yellow tincan under water and looking at the crap people have threw in the sea? No? Well... people are crazy and some of them have too much money.

Dept. of Carsafety

Wrecked and colored

Some people have to much time to spend. This guys (have to be guys) have spent valuable time collecting pics on strange customized or special wrecked cars.

Rather fun. But totally meaningless. Though it truly can be discussed how much meaning there is in the objects that the pics is showing.

Dept. of Photographic Memos

A picture in the picture

Mark-Steffen Göwecke have done a funny thing - he have used a Polaroidcamera and used the former picture in the new picture - it have been over hundred pics and in some instance they are all in the same picture.

Look at the project at his site. This is a piece of art.

Dept. of Development of music

Inspired by spam

You can be inspired to do music of just anything. Brad have asked some people to do music inspired by the spam they got in their inbox.

And so they did. Download it on the


Outside the inbox-site. Don't expect masterpieces but hey, it's a fun idea.

Dept. of Diets-Of-My-Dream

Dream Diet?

A teen who suffered from fainting spells received medical advice that itself sounds like a prescription for blackouts: U.K. docs put Ashley Clarke on a steady diet of junk food, salt pills and beer. Clark, 18, suffers from Gower syndrome, a condition in which the heart slows down and the blood vessels dilate, causing a drop in blood pressure. Salty, fatty foods help raise Clarke's blood pressure, the doctors reason, and the alcohol is good for his heart. The bizarre regimen -- which Scotland's Daily Record dubbed the "Fatkins diet" -- turned Clarke's life around. "Eating junk food is probably every 18-year-old's dream," he said, "but for me it's more than that -- it's a passport to a normal life." Wired News: Furthermore

Dept. of Thug-University

Hotwire your car

If you forget your carkey, don't forget to print this how-to on the topic "hotwiring your car". (Maxim Magazine UK).

The history is making me remember the time when a co-worker of me had had a break-in into his old Volvo and though there was too expensive to fix it he just hotwired it every time he used it. But since the cables did get to fall apart and the car to stop running he put a switch on the cables - a ordinary switch for lamps.

Dept. of New Innovations

The most important thing ever created

The new release of NaDa 0.5beta is a revolution in usability and computering. This program is small and even thought it's in it's early versions it's totally bugfree. And it's effiency in doing the job is 100%! This is how a application should be written.

What it does? Absolutely nothing. But it does it very good.

Dept. of TellingTruths

A little guessing

Time for a playround who have said this almost historical wise words?

"No, I'd feel used only if I didn't get something out of it. If a girl comes on strong and says, 'I really dig your body and I want to fuck the shit out of you,' I just decide whether or not I like her. If I do take her home, I try to make sure I get just as much out of it as she does. The word exploited therefore wouldn't apply."

"I get laid on purpose. I can't sleep before a competition and I'm up all night, anyway, so instead of staring at the ceiling I figure I might as well find somebody and fuck."

"When Manso asked whether he used "dope," XX replied, "Yes, grass and hash--no hard drugs. But the point is that I do what I feel like doing. I'm not on a health kick.".

Can you guess? Is it maybe a politician? No, that would to strange...

Well sorry: it's the new governor of California. One can wonder if this kind of article shouldn't kill anyone running for office except Conan The Terminator. We can all recognize the quote:

"I tested marijuana once but I never inhaled" - and that almost took Clinton of the office.

Dept. of Useless Hobbies

Setting up the private weather-cast

Some people have to much spare-time. This guy (a Swede) have built not one but five satellitestations for obtaining pictures from the weather-satellites that orbits the earth.

Even though the weather-forecasting can be rather insecure there's is a long way to go, setting up a station.

And for me, I would miss the weather-girls on Channel 4.

Dept. of Obsession

I want the NYC-skyline for breakfast

Let's face it. Some people have more strange obsessions than others. Ryan Hoagland have one: he have made the Manhattan skyline
in his kitchen. And yes, he lives in San Jose, California.

And he will probably move to NYC since his girlfriend is a New Yorker. It make sense. "Hey, sugarpie! Do you want to come over to my place and watch the Man-skyline?". Done. But it somewhat narrows the searchcriterias - only chics from NYC will surely swallow the hook. But hey, NYC-chics might be swallow.

Dept. of TheEndOfTheWorld

Terminate the politics

"It's the end of the world and we know it"....

The old R.E.M-tune comes to mind when realising that the California state have voted for a ex Mr Universe, "actor" and been making his fortune on violent heroic flicks. I mean - that austrian guy Arnold Schwarzenegger will be the governor of California.

It's the end of the world - this is the Apocalypse.

Dept. of Unusual Criminal Clothing

A bomb, a bra and a brainless criminal

Mr Woodruff wasn't only put in the slammer for handling forbidden explosives and having metamphetamine in his SUV.

He was put behind bars on the offense of indecent exposure since the police found him all asleep in his SUV dressed in a pink bra and thongs.

After all - pink ain't going with a bald head. Read all the stuff at The Smoking Gun.

Dept. of Sincere Moviemaking

Do you want to make a blockbuster?

Have you ever thought of what do define a perfect movie? An academic in Britain have set out the the major ingredients for perfect film and there she puts the action as a perfect match for making the blockbuster of your dreams.

But when realizing that the study was paid for by Diet Coke one can wonder what the heck these academics is doing when they´re not doing paid-for-science...