Dept. of Marry-Me-Or-I-Fuck-My-Comp

Mod the matrimony

What to do if you're a g33k and you want to propose to your girlfriend? Buy tulips? Surprise her with a romantic dinner and candlelights?

Not this guy. He modded a computer and gave to his fiancée. At the top he had placed the engagement-ring in a cake.

Yeah, she said yes. But what she thought of the mod isn't the story reviving but as one of the replies says: "My first thought was Martha Stewart meets case modding" there is no long shot that she tries to hide the ride (it was for her job). But rather qute no matter what.

Dept. of Mistakes-Made-A-Mess

Dumbest moments of the year

"His acute sense of what's on the minds of his listeners, combined with his ability to ... serve as a lightning rod for lively discussion, makes him the perfect fit." Mike Shapiro on ESPN explaining why they decided to hire Rush Limbaugh, the right-wing bad boy on the air.

And it goes on in Business 2.0 listing on the 101 Dumbest Moments in Business. As an example is the third place: Urban Outfitters who created Ghettopoly, a Monopoly rip-off. The traditional pieces were replaced with a machine gun, marijuana leaf, basketball, and rock of crack cocaine.

And it goes on and on. Another fun example on the everlasting Babylonic problem: when IKEA, the swedish furniture company, is putting their new catalogue out there is a fuzz in Germany over the children's bunk bed 'Gutvik' since that in Germany sounds much like a phrase that means 'a good fuck'. (This also make me remember when the Japanese car-company Honda was releasing their model 'Fitta' a couple of years ago and it never showed up in Sweden since the word means 'cunt').

Dept. of Sports Apparels

Softer than the Super Bowl

Half time in the biggest sport event in the world have it´s own thrill: on pay-per-view you can see Lingerie Bowl. That seem rather nice. Me myself wouldn't say no to see many well-bodied girls in lingerie playing the ball. And hey, who can say he doesn't have the hopes up that there will be some "holding-the-clothes"-fouls.

Pity that the victorians at CBS doesn't understand that this would make even the most sport-hating guy to look at the Bowl. And they would be able to raise the ad-prices.

Dept. of Strange-Collaberations

A unholy union

Not only is it rather alogical but also pretty strange when reading that groups of neo-Nazis and right wing extremist jews unite in France on the web. The hate-crimecollaberation is on spreading hate-messages upon muslims and arabic culture and to do that they join forces.

A report is talking about about 26 sites where the collaboration is taking place. And the problem is on the rise.

This is for me a proof that morrons tend to be right-wing and some sort of race-elitistic. Idits.

Dept. of A-Cheesier-Cut

A cheesy solution

Do you have longed for a cheese spelling your name?

Now you can have it since
University of Wisconsin at Madison adapts laser to slice cheese in various formats. And since they think that this surely is the future of the food retailing.

Why not - a pizza slize in the shape of your beloved husband, a eatable greeting-card for aunt written in carrot-letters or the letter of goodbye formed with lasercut bits of liver.

There's a plethora of openings for this new way of using laser!

Dept. of Crazy-NASA-Wannabees

Rocket guy of U.S.A

Brian Walker is the Rocket Guy. Imagine a guy who invents and build his own rocketry and spaceships and thinking of going up in it too? Well, imagine since it's true as hell. Cuz the toy inventor and crazy guy is doing it.

He have built a rocket garden and live his dream.

Dept. of Show Off

Don't show your tits

In Nebraska you should not think of showing off your swell body. Melissa Harrington, who wants to take place in the biz of glamour and nudity, have been slashed with a ticket on breaking the law against public nudity in Lincoln, Nebraska since she had put a picture on herself without some clothing from a bar in the town.

Melissa, in the daytime a webdesigner at a bank in Lincoln is explaining her love for being flaunting tits and asses: "I'm one of those really cute Midwestern girls that just like to have fun! I'm kind of a drunk, I mean I'm not one of those "Bar Whores" but I do like to drink and have a good time, if you know what I mean." . Yeah, right. If this shouldn't be a priceless dumb thing to do. But she's rather gorgeous.

Dept. of Thought-Control

The Orwellian story in real

Brian was caught and arrested on a felony count of planning to cause serious bodily harm or death. Why? Just because that he had copied a short story (pdf) from one of the computers at his school and added some things to it. Wired News is telling the horrific story about Brian Robertson who found a Notepad-file in his webclass and thought it was rather cool and started to write more on it. The story was about "preparations for an armed invasion of his school that included directions to unnamed fellow commandos to kill the senior class principal and then plant plastic explosives around the campus.". But the cops didn't find any weapons or explosives neither in the family car or in the house of Robertson-family.

But the American law is sometimes strange and Brian Robertson was facing a charge that can put him in the slammer ten years. The Oklahoma state statute is making it clear that you can't write things that is threatening on the life and health of people. All this have come into play after the Columbine shootings and the number of kids who have been expelled and jailed for what they have written is tremendous given the fact that it really is a violation of the First Amendment. And as Sara McFall, Robertson's attorney states in court: "If a story describing such things is evidence (of a plan to commit murder), then Stephen King would be serving a life sentence."

The problem is that the law is so badly written that the district attorney is using the case of Brian to revise the statue: "the thing that I am concerned about this statute the most is the way it's written perhaps outlaws thought." he remarks in the briefing from the court.

Robertsons mother: who did think the schools lock-out of her son was good have used almost all of her time trying to defent her son finally did caught the first paragraph which Brian stated not have written. It was in the CD that comes with the installation of Adobe PageMaker...

Wonder if the district attorney is willing to sue the huge company of the dtpapplications...

Dept. of Knot Correction

Gangstas in gloves

"Detectives in Philadelphia are hunting a gang which puts on boxing gloves before launching attacks on pedestrians."
Ananova is stating. And it's surely brings on some thoughts on the criminal mind:
Is it some weak-hearted thug that came up with the idea since boxing gloves is somewhat softer than a naked hand or a knife?
Or is it a gang from the local boxing-club that have created a new strange way to get the skills in the sport of gentlemen?

However one wonder what would happen if someone had a black-white-striped shirt and started to count to ten when the gang appeared...

Dept. of Educational Purposes

Start a new career

Why not start a website? The only sites where a majority is doing profit is the adult. Porn and nudies is selling itself but of course - the competition is fierce. So, being sure on making it all the way the Adult Webmaster School could be a good investment since the yearly revenue of the whole biz is 9 billion dollar.

This is what you get: we teach you how to profit from the highly lucrative online Adult industry. AWS is a virtual school which includes a course guide, video tutorials, and real teachers you can ask for help. There are message boards and chat rooms where you can hang out with fellow students and our faculty. The course is completely self-paced -- learn as quickly or slowly as you want. We teach you everything -- no prior Web page skills required. If you know how to surf the Web (which you obviously do since you are reading this right now), you can enroll in the Adult Webmaster School.

I wonder if the video tutorials is the same ones available at the local blockbuster, in the back of the room.

Dept. of Prayer-In-New-Ways

Inkstained monks

Remember the plot of the big novel of Umberto Eco The Name of the Rose? The ink was poisoned. But those LaserMonks have another thing going with ink - they sell it. And cheaper and with a whole new aim on this e-commercethingy. In Pioneer Press there is a sweet story on their way on making customer-relations work:
A recent caller lost seven years of savings to an online scam artist after trying to book a cruise for herself and her daughters. She vowed never to buy anything else on the Internet.
But with three printers churning out student papers in her Pennsylvania home, she couldn't ignore discounts of up to 90 percent over name-brand cartridges. Look, she told LaserMonks, she had trust issues. She needed the firm to set her mind at ease.
LaserMonks' response helps explain why the two-year-old e-commerce venture based at the Cistercian Abbey of Our Lady of Spring Bank — yes, with actual Catholic monks — appears to be on a stratospheric business trajectory...The skeptical Pennsylvania mother, for instance, got four cartridges on speculation. Try 'em out, LaserMonks said. If you like them, consider sending us a few bucks. No hurry, take a few months to think it over.
The company soon got paid in full for the shipment, along with a second order for four cartridges.

Dept. of Faking Sex

As good as nothing

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" "Uhum...". Recognize the feeling?

Well - the everlasting question of the faking of an orgasm isn't really solved by this CBC News-article but the fact that scientists have found that female trouts is faking orgasms if the male isn't the one that she had expected.

I wonder if the female trout also complains about headaches?

Dept. of Toys For Big Children

A cute thing when feeling lonely

In Sweden one of the most famous moments in the history of sport-commentators is when one of them is saying: "Japanese, japanese, japanese - everywhere japanese" when commenting a soccer-game where Japan is the counterpart of the Swedish team.

When surfing through the J-List it's not hard to use the same expression. In here you find the finest of japanese kitsch and in the 'R'-section you can find this really nice vibrator for wife's pleasure (and pain if she happens to put it in upside-down...).

Dept. of Justice For All

The bully gets bullied

This is a lesson every kid that bullies another one should learn: The sanitation-worker (sic!) DeAngelo Bailey was trying to sue the rapper Eminem of defamation since the rapper had called Bailey a "a bully who pummeled little Em in a school bathroom in 1982".

The complaint was dismissed by the judge and Bailey, who supposedly had thoughts on changing job to a gigolo, had to go back to the garbage.

Dept. of Relative Relations

Divorce The Online Style

Is a divorce more easy when make it online? A virtual family tiff pulling the handle and crash and burn. The always awake
Wired News can tell the story. That the online-services of breaking up is growing fast and firms like CompleteCase.com and LegalZoom.com have helped to put an end on about 20 000 marriages.

The real saver of the help-yourself-being-single-services on the web is that if a marriage is without children and "other assets" (as a guy puts it) and the two is overwhelmingly agreed that they don't belong together longer there are thousands of greens to save compared to use a real-time lawyer. For about $50-300 instead of thousands of dollars you can be up-and-running at the singles-stage in no-time. Or not...

Dept. of Marriage-Licensing

I do, I do, I don't

Everyone surely have heard about somewhat of the shortest marriage in the music-biz. I mean 55 hour must be somewhat short even in the eye of the rock'n'roll-circus. Britney and some guy from back home did marry in Vegas. And now the lad have told the tale.

They was chilling in the Palms Casino Hotel and after watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre on the tube "and we had so much fun, just looking out at the city and the lights, and we were, 'We're in Las Vegas, let's do something. Let's go get married,' ". That seem like a very good argument for taking the vows and promise eachother to love the other for better or worse.

But Britney surely have a good op to win the Bonehead of the day award.

Dept. of New Military Inventions

No bowling for Columbine

This guy was just hanging out at the shooting parlor and met a guy who had made his own Mortarcanon of a steelpipe and was shooting bowlingballs heck of a length.

His standing is "Do Not Try This At Home" and "Is Someone Having A Couple Of Bowling Balls". And I think that the perfection on the aim is rather bad.

Dept. of Entertainment New Tech

Ooops... was it marked?

Carmine Caridi, a film and television actor who appeared in the "The Godfather: Part II" and television's "NYPD Blue" surely have some explaining to do since his copy of the 'Gotta Give' screener have been found on the P2P-networks on the net. His fall was a couple of hidden such as visible mark-ups that the Hollywood-company of Columbia Pictures (own by Sony Entertainment) had put into all the screeners sent to the voters on the Oscars.

Caridi was not available to comment. He probably was stuck to the screen.

Dept. of Hair-Do

No picking

Are you in for some monobrows? Then Monobrow.com surely is your place. Of course there is the Monobrow of the month and anything you can imagine about the special feeling of monobrows.

There probably will be no trend of monobrows but as it always were told in the dawn of Internet: every possession possible is on the net.