Dept. of New Bizniz On Bodywork

Selling your soul on Ebay

A Dutchman is offering a 'soul in good condition with no serious damage' on eBay tells Ananova.

The initial price is set at £6. But hey, who haven't want a good soul instead of your own, sinful and black.

Another guy, a web-designer from Iowa, is selling his soul on Ebay and he is saying that his soul is sited in a glass jar. If he get rid of his soul the next thing he is thinking of selling is his morals.

Somehow that won't be a bargain I say...

Dept. of Natural-Wrestling

Reporter wrestles Blitzen

To be a reporter can be difficult. Ask Meghan Stapleton who was knocked to the ground by one of the reindeers at the sleight of Santa, located at the North Pole. Watch the pics or the video at NBC13.com.

But if Stapleton had did her research she had understood better than to try to hug "Blitzen". I don't think that she will be member of the Reindeer Liberation Front whose mission is to free Rudolph and his friends.

Dept. of Technology-Of-Making-Out

Get her ready and willing

This is surely a technology-wonder: Slightest Touch is not for give the woman orgasms but to make all that which we use to call "fore-play" fast and safe.

The perfect X-mas-gift for the husband who won't miss the Saturday game but have a wife that want to do the weekly 'fandango'.

As one of the men who let his woman test it says: "It warms the oven. It brings women to the one-yard line.... It's a wonderful product. I think the world of it." as Wired News tells in the flick about The Orgasmatron (sounds like something from a bad B-movie).

Dept. of SingSing

Bad choice of song

A lawyer was reported singing 'I shot the sheriff' when leaving court after a trial on a cop-killing. His client was the one accused for the shooting.

The most funny part in this is one of the cops statement: "Where was that dignity and moderation in that terrible performance of the Bob Marley song?"...

I mean - hey, if the lawyer can't sing he could be rather lucky that the guy didn't try to sing 'Copkiller'.

Dept. of Spooky-Castles

A ghost on film

A rather peculiar pic have been put on almost every paper. It's a pic from the guards of Hampton Court Palace, a Henry III medieval castle which is well-known of it's ghosts and of course - it has been told to be haunted of a plethora of lost souls.

The people of the castle not ruling out a hoax but they can't explain the picture.

The strange thing of it all is that the ghost i closing a fire escape. And fire-doors wasn't to wellknown in the Medieval England but from what the guards tell they can't find an earthly explanation. Read the story in The Sun or in The Mirror.

Dept. of Funny Menus

Eating Out?

Ananova tells about the man swallowed 200 live worms in an attempt to get into the Guinness Book of Records. Earthworms, which was on the menu, is about four inches long each and of course filled with proteines and vitamines. And C Manoharan, as the hungry Indian is called, did it in twenty seconds.

Wonder if he chewed well.

Dept. of Beauty-And-No-Hair

Hot on foam

Do you get your boost on looking at men shaving? Do you get horny by the smell of foaming-cream? At
shave you can get your otium in all that and more.

Me myself just let the beard grow.

Dept. of Driving-Careful

Blondes are better drivers

Sometimes one can wonder if the scientists and lovers of statistical analysis is really sane. They say that 'Blondes are best drivers' . Oh wee...

The story is that blonde chics is less involved in traffic incidents than brunettes. It wouldn't be the possibility that blondes is less able to have their license?

This joke is fun: A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 360,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde, "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the mileage counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."


The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.


About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"


"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

Dept. of Names-That-You-Remember

Bubba Bubba Bubba

Ananova is telling the story of Raymond Allen Gray Jr who changed his name to the more unusual Bubba Bubba Bubba. This Illinois-guy probably didn't think of the strange name his son will have: Bubba Bubba Bubba Jr.

Yes. It's the evil influence of The Kermit Show that now are making people crazy. It's the psychotic influences on the distressed Generation X:ers whose only cultural waypoints is Sesame Street, The Muppet Show and such strange TV-flicks.

Dept. of Strange-Sponsorships

Paying for silence

"Prakashi, a widow who lives in New Delhi, has been staging a sit-in outside the city police commissioner's office after three failed attempts to hand over the money. The Hindustan Times says officers refused to accept the polythene bag full of money because they were worried about being accused of wrongdoing. A police inspector later accompanied the woman and handed the money over to her relatives. Prakashi, 75, says she wanted to thank the police for keeping her neighbours from playing loud music late into the night." Ananova is tellinge the whole story.

Dept. of Alcohol-And-Driving

Driving with a lot of booze

Hey ho... this guy was taken by the police with .69 in bloodalcohol. An american record it seem to be since a russian lad was taken in with more than .70. The police report is talking about "a strong odour of alcohol beverage" when put the head inside the car in which the american booze-lover sat.

Willard Ashley III is the new recordmaker. I wonder what the Ashley First and Second did die from: liverfailure?

Dept. of Forgotten-Pics

He forgot to burn this pic

Guess who this is.

No - not that geek from your second grade. You know, the lad who you used to beat up to be able to hang out with the big guys.

No - this guy is nowadays called 'Prince of Darkness' and last time I saw him on the telly he was almost brutally forced to kiss the Real Prince: Ozzy.

Yeay... it's Marilyn Manson. This is truly the proof that the nerds rule the world.

Dept. of Lies And Videotapes

Remember to turn off the camera

Another one of the brats have forgotten that every person is the other person's wolf (homo homini lupus a proverb from Plautus in ancient Rome). Paris Hilton, great-granddaughter of the founder of the Hilton Hotel is trying to get rid of the videocopies where she is having sex with her boyfriend. And as anyone else with money and something cranky to cope she hired a PR consultant: "I hear that PR consultant Dan Klores recently bagged $50,000 from the Hilton family, mainly for advising their controversial daughter Paris Hilton, 'Whenever you see a camera, cry.' " as the outspoken columnist Michael Musto of
The Village Voice

Instead of that tip I can give her one just for free: Don't use videocam to spice up your sexlife if you're a celeb (or planning to be).

Or as the New York Times columnist John Leland jokes that the only thing that could really "damage her reputation as a vapid, self-involved rich girl" would be a videotape showing her doing something worthwhile with her life, such as "developing mathematical models for a low-cost irrigation system to be used in the developing world."

Dept. of Hair-Cutting

Imagine the smell

Ananova is telling about an Indian barber who use candles to trim his customers hair. His explanation is that using fire on hair is an old tradition and that "Scissors create a mess with hair all over, this style avoids that as the hair simply burns.".

Me myself just can say that the smell of burnt hair would make me choose some other barbershop.

Dept. of Plastic-Surgeons-United

As ugly as £7 Grand

The winner of China's Miss Ugly competition has beaten to 50 rivals to clinch £7,000 worth of cosmetic surgery.

Zhang Di, 26, won on the basis that her appearance would most benefit from plastic surgery.

The people on the pic have nothing to do with the article but is as ugly as anyone could be. The really annoying thing is that there's no pics on the winner...

Dept. of Manhood

Are you handsome - then your sperm is good

Brother. If you look like a car-crash you truly is in a bad state of being chosen being father to the beautiful girls children.

"The researchers showed that men with the healthiest, fastest sperm were rated as the most facially attractive by women. The characteristics of a person's face have long been regarded as an indicator of health. " New Scientist though give the ugly guys some hope: women tend to also seek economical stability and such things. That´s probably the explanation that guys like Bill Gates, George Bush and Bjorn Borg have wifes.

Dept. of The Inner Truth

Let it all out

"i put hairpins on my nipples when i masturbate". No, it's not a confession of my own sick ways of touching myself - it's a confession from grouphug.us. I said it before and I'm never given an opp to take it back: there's so many strange ideas on the Net.

"the idea is for anyone to anonymously confess to anything. it actually feels kind of good to know that someone will read it." the site is telling us.

Thinking of it seriously it seems to be the post-modern confession-booth, without God and without the consequences. Just confession and in a way that gives you (anonymously) fifteen minutes of fame.

Dept. of Sandwichboys

Prisonfood tastes like sh*t

One wonder what the larceny-convicted Saraf had done to Anthony Paduano. This untastful story is served chilled from The Smoking Gun.

Paduano, a thief of habit did spiced his fellow-inmate Saraf's sandwich which ... yes - something that you don´t want to have for dinner. Antoher question is how Paduano thought getting away with it?

Dept. of RIAA

Send them back

Are you a filesharer, a thief of copyrighted material? Are you one of the people who make the musicians to leave their homes and not being able to feed their kids?

Of course, you are. Do RIAA a favor - when you are finished with the mp3's:
Send Them Back. They aren't used-out you know.

Dept. of Emancipation

Master and servant

This is so damn stupid that I have just to cite it:

"The County of Los Angeles actively promotes and is committed to ensure a work environment that is free from any discriminatory influence be it actual or perceived. As such, it is the County's expectation that our manufacturers, suppliers and contractors make a concentrated effort to ensure that any equipment, supplies or services that are provided to County departments do not possess or portray an image that may be construed as offensive or defamatory in nature.

One such recent example included the manufacturer's labeling of equipment where the words ''Master/Slave'' appeared to identify the primary and secondary sources. Based on the cultural diversity and sensitivity of Los Angeles County, this is not an acceptable identification label.

We would request that each manufacturer, supplier and contractor review, identify and remove/change any identification or labeling of equipment or components thereof that could be interpreted as discriminatory or offensive in nature before such equipment is sold or otherwise provided to any County department. Thank you in advance for your cooperation and assistance."

The use of "master/slave" is when putting hard drives into a computer. A nice try of emancipation of hard drives...

Dept. of Technology-Wonders

R.Kelly is morphing

It´s not only the freak of pop-culture Michael Jackson (well, the first freak - and when Marilyn Manson is setting a show) that is charged for child abuse. R.Kelly is charged for possessing child porn and to have filmed himself in sexual acts with a minor.

The most creative in all this is his answers on the allegations
: his defense has been that there is a conspiracy from former managers and being proven to be the one on the tapes his defense is that someone have tampered with the pictures and morphed him into the video.

First to take the stand i George Lucas.

Dept. of Tour-Of-Life

Big, bald and ugly

At Roadie.net one can find the life and thought (well...) of the stars own slaves and the well-bearded silent men of showbiz.

Roadies, the guys that go with the trucks when the artists is flying jets. Mythic and often either geekish or musicians lacking success. Roadies is the highway-restaurants favouritecustomers since the are the same as the truckers but take some of the showbiz-glamour to the far-away café.

And for the amateur-groupies the roadie is the last chance of some glam-life.